midlife crisis Archives - 44Letters.com

5 Things We’ve Learned Living Abroad in Budapest

November 28, 2018

We’ve officially lived in Budapest for a year! It’s hard to believe, as I would swear we only just arrived. However, it’s true. Last week, Facebook reminded me on the day we took our one-way flight across the pond. Living abroad in Budapest was always a dream of mine, and thanks to my amazing husband, we are here sharing it together. To celebrate this milestone, I thought I would tell you 5 things we’ve learned living abroad in Budapest, Hungary.

Lucy sitting our suitcase making sure she didn’t get left behind – November 21st, 2017.

1. Determination and patience are key

When we moved here, we really did start our lives again from scratch. We had nowhere to live, nowhere to work, no friends and no idea how to tackle Hungarian bureaucracy. However, what we did have was each other. Our strong partnership was essential for making some stressful times much less so. It helped us laugh, love and enjoy along the way. And of course, Stuart and his team at InterRelocation were a huge help too!

2. You can live with less “stuff”

Sorting and selling our worldly goods in order to move to Europe was tough. However, living here with less has been fabulous. All that stuff you thought you couldn’t live without? Well you can! Of course we replaced some essentials when we arrived – but there is practically nothing I miss. Especially not my car! Public transportation is amazing here. I love that its more environmentally friendly and that I’m not wasting my life sitting in my car. I read so many more books while taking public transportation!

This was everything we shipped here to Budapest to start our new life. It didn’t even fill up one van!

3. Age is just a number

Moving here midlife – and by choice – was just not something everyone could understand. I learned that it’s never too late for changes and we can always chase our dreams. People shouldn’t be discouraged by their age – quite the opposite. When you’re older, you’re more experienced and you know what you want from life.

4. Dollars, pounds, euros or forints?

The day will come when you stop converting money in your head. For a long while, we were still converting everything into Canadian dollars to truly understand the price of things. However, we realized a couple of months ago, we no longer find ourselves doing it all the time.

5. We have different accents

A few weeks ago someone told me I speak with an accent. Happily, I though this meant maybe I had developed a bit of a Hungarian one… but they said, “No”. Then, my glee quickly turned to horror as I though I perhaps developed an affected British accent like Madonna? However, thankfully, they also said, “No, its not that either”. What they meant, was more that my speech has changed. I choose my words differently now knowing that (Canadian) English is not the first language of most of our new friends and co-workers. And they are right, my language has definitely changed. However, my husband’s English accent has also absolutely become much stronger over the past year. My Canadian influence is fading…

Celebrating one year in Budapest. Do we sound different? Has our speech and accents changed? Visit us to find out!

Emigrating to another country certainly might seem daunting and I do believe that not everyone was made for this journey. But if you feel like you want to leave your country and would like to see the world, then do it! Fight your fears, open your mind and go!

As for us? We are still on our journey. We are currently trying to work through our final bits of Hungarian bureaucracy getting our Hungarian Driver’s Licenses. At first, we thought we would simply be able to exchange our Canadians ones, but apparently that is not true. What it does mean, is that we’ll be starting off 2019 back in Driver’s Ed. Wish us luck!

Budapest Expat Tips

Tourist Alert: What Not to Wear in Budapest, Hungary

March 3, 2018

Budapest is an amazing city. Everywhere you look you’ll find amazing architecture, museums, hotels, bars, nooks, and crannies. And while there are many cultural differences between North America and Hungary, the way people dress is one of them. So unless you want to be immediately identified as a tourist, here is a short list of what not to wear in Budapest, Hungary.

Tourist Alert

Please note that these are my personal observations after 3 months of living in Budapest. I have absolutely done ALL of the things listed below (as I’m sure some of you have too). You (and I) may even continue to do so in the future. Guess what? If that’s what you want, go ahead and be the best tourist you can be! But for those of you who want to blend in a little more with your European surroundings – keep reading.

Dirty Shoes or Trainers

Since we take public transportation practically everyday, we get to see a lot of footwear. Hungarian’s shoes are practically always polished to perfection. Even in wintertime, you would have to look hard to find salt stains on a fellow passenger’s boots. Laces are also neat and clean – with shoes/boots completely tied up.

Now I am not saying that all Canadians have dirty shoes (as I am sure not all Hungarians have clean ones). However, both my husband and I noticed this almost immediately. It prompted us to get to the store to make sure we had some good polish on hand. There is definitely a higher level of respect for an individual’s personal appearance.

Furthermore, wearing trainers/running shoes is definitely a sign that you must be a tourist. You will discover most Europeans wear stylish but comfortable shoes or a higher-end sneaker look. You’ll likely only find running shoes being worn during an actual athletic activity.

A more likely shoe to be seen in winter is something like this comfortable, but stylish, men’s shoe.

While these bright coloured trainers may be perfect for the gym or track, wearing on the street of Budapest simply screams tourist.

Colourful Winter Coats

When the temperatures drop, I’ve always liked to beat the gloom with a bold coloured coat. I have a turquoise coat, a bright pink down vest and my husband has a cobalt blue coat. Unfortunately, these are not looks you find regularly on adults on the streets of Budapest. Most Hungarians above the age of 12 wear black or darker colours. Lucky for us, we own more than one coat.

Note that this doesn’t always stop us from wearing our coats of many colours, but we make a conscious choice to do so. Sometimes, and in certain places, its simply best to fit in and look “Hungarian”. Why be a target for tour operators and pickpockets when you don’t have to be?

Check out our latest video on YouTube to see when we blend in and when we don’t bother…

While we have protected his identity, this man is immediately recognizable as a tourist in this bright blue coat.

Baseball Caps

As someone who has spent the last ten summers of my life on a boat, both my husband and I own more then one baseball cap (even if I did rarely wear one). Baseball caps are often a complete necessity when sailing to keep the sun out of your eyes without losing your sunglasses. On the contrary, you will find few adult Hungarians wearing these on the streets of Budapest.

If you do see this style of cap, its most likely to be devoid of any slogan or sports logo. I’m not really sure why baseball hats get no love? You do see lots other styles of hats – bucket hats, pork pie hats, straw hats, and my husband’s personal favourite, the Trilby. Ps. This does to apply to ladies as well.

Wearing this hat is not only a sign that your are a tourist but a Times Square billboard sized sign that you are a tourist.

Sweatsuits, Tracksuits and Yoga Pants

I love my yoga pants. Who doesn’t love their yoga pants? They can be be both flattering and practical when they fit right. In the past, I never hesitated from wearing them to the mall, out for coffee or grocery shopping. On the other hand, please know that I never wore them to work or to a dinner party. Rarely do you see these anywhere on the streets of Budapest. Sweats? Track suits? Leisure wear? Nope. You won’t find any of those either. Again, this applies to both women and men. Sorry boys! Leave those baggy track suits at home.

Defying all North American logic, these two women are wearing yoga pants to actually do yoga – not to meet at Starbucks for a latte.

Other Tourist Giveaways

Of course clothing is just one part of the tourist puzzle. Carrying selfie sticks, wearing backpacks, multiple cameras, staring at large maps, paying in Euros instead of forints, are all huge “tourist alert” giveaways. Perhaps the most obvious – and the hardest to avoid – is speaking in English.

Perhaps the most obvious of tourist devices – the selfie stick. Not only that – but many popular spots simply ban the use of these nowadays.

In short, no matter how you dress or what language you speak, please don’t hesitate to come and visit this extremely safe and beautiful city that I now call home. Hungarians are fabulous and will fill you to the brim with the best food, wine, weather and entertainment.

What do you think screams tourist? Let me know in the comments below!

Personal Stories

Discovering Aniko: Where Everybody knows my Name

November 2, 2017

Discovering Aniko was a common name when I first visited Budapest as an adult in 2007 wasn’t surprising. After all, it IS a traditional Hungarian name. However, I was unprepared for meeting others girls and women named “Aniko” and how it would make me feel. It feels strange.

(I know it’s not as strange as meeting someone with the name “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt” – but strange nonetheless.)

In Canada, having Aniko as my name made me akin to the “Highlander”. “There can be only one” (the belief and motto among the immortals in the original Highlander film). I am like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Into every generation a slayer is born: one girl in all the world, a chosen one. In all of my 40+ years, I never met another Aniko on Canadian soil.

Furthermore, I grew up in a country where people could neither pronounce nor spell my name. My mother tells the story of how when I was in grade one my teacher pointed out that my name was tricky, “so why don’t we just call you Annie?” Unsurprising to those who know me, my six year old self responded, “Why don’t we just call me Aniko since that’s my name”. At least in Hungary, EVERYONE knows how to pronounce and spell my name.

Two Anikós in front of the “Anikó” souvenier store in Budapest’s 1st District.

Aniko is a diminutive form of Anna in the Hungarian language. Aniko’s language of origin is Hebrew and Japanese, and it is used largely in the Hungarian language.

Not only do I now have a “common name” to get used to – but a brand new spelling for me. In Hungary, my name is spelled with the an accent over the “o” – Anikó. Only my Hungarian grandparents wrote my name this way – never my Hungarian parents or my sister. However, this is my legal name in Hungary. It appears that way on all my documentation, so I must start remembering to spell it that way.

I know all you Stephanies, Sarahs, Nicoles, Emilys and Madisons probably think I’m crazy… but having a unique name is a huge part of my identity. I don’t really want to be one of many in the crowd – even if it means I can easily find a personalized keychain.

I like explaining how to spell my name. I like explaining its origins. I like that people often think I am a tiny Japanese woman before they meet me. I like telling people that the other choices for my name were Ildiko or Brigitta. I like being special. I love that my name is Aniko.

Sorry, I mean, Anikó.

Moving Abroad

Now Boarding: Moving Midlife to Budapest, Hungary

October 18, 2017

Welcome to our blog all about our experiences moving to – and living in – Budapest, Hungary. We’ve been getting a lot of questions about this move abroad… so here are some answers:

Why did we choose to move from Canada? Well, in very simple terms, we wanted to share the experience of living abroad while we are both still young enough and healthy enough to truly enjoy it. We didn’t want to wait another 20 years until retirement – a lot can happen in that time.

Why did we chose Hungary? We chose Hungary as our destination because I am a dual Canadian-Hungarian citizen. And because my husband is British, we can easily live and work in anywhere in the European Union. In my husband’s case, he can do this before “Brexit” occurs and can remain even afterwards as the spouse of a Hungarian citizen.

Why Budapest? This is the easiest question to answer. We both firmly believe that Budapest is the most beautiful city in Europe. It offers a wide variety of incredible architecture, music, nightlife, food, wine, history, weather and a beautiful landscape that we love.

Our favourite place for a drink beside the Danube.

We are also seeking a simpler, slower life then we had in Canada and we look forward to reconnecting with my Hungarian relatives and family history. While we will continue to work hard, we want to live a life where personal relationships are more important than material possessions. We are looking forward to “starting over again” and trying something new.

What about our families? This is the toughest part. Leaving our family in Canada. But with today’s technology, we know that each and every one of them is only a click, swipe or phone call away. Furthermore, first visits are already scheduled on the calendar. 🙂

Are we taking our dog? Absolutely. Lucy will be making the journey with us from the very first day as we travel via Amsterdam to get to Budapest. For the details on how we did this, please read our post: 5 Tips to Moving to with a Pet.

When do we arrive in Budapest? This first post was written while still in Canada. We arrive in Budapest at the end of November 2017 and are looking forward to the Budapest Christmas Markets.

Do we have somewhere to live? Yes and no. We have secured a fabulous, classical, one-bedroom apartment for short-term rental through HomeAway until the beginning of January. Its right near the Central Market Hall (Nagy Vásárcsarnok) and we are very familiar with the location. Once we arrive, we will look for long-term accommodations using the services of InterRelocation.

Spices for sale in the Budapest Central Market Hall.

Will we eat Kocsonya (ko-choan-yuh)? Absolutely not! (Google it yourselves)

Why is this blog called “44 Letters”? Because there are 44 letters in the Hungarian alphabet. Doesn’t learning Hungarian sound scary and confusing? Well that’s because it is. Much like this move to Budapest!

What can you expect from this blog? Lots of stories, photos and videos about moving abroad, our daily life, our favourite places in Budapest to eat, drink, dance, enjoy and more! We’ll even include stories from our travel experiences throughout Hungary and Europe. We’re not 20, you likely won’t see a photo of me in a bikini – but we are not retired and we are ready for this adventure. This is our Midlife in Budapest.